Then prepare for a tale of horror...

Once upon a time, when I was attending art college, we were forced to do week after week of still life nudes - something I had hoped to put behind me to concentrate on more interesting work. The models they provided were, however, hideous. Chosen for their 'interest' rather than their comliness they included...

* The wrinkly, flabby old man.
* The bone-pokingly skinny nerd with the excessively dangly ballsac.
* The old woman who could wear her breasts as slippers.

Week after week I charcoaled these hideous monstrosities until they haunted my dreams and ruined my appetite. Finally, I snapped. The days of the still life nude for the week rolled around again and unable to stand the thought of sacrificing another sheet of paper in the depiction of such hideousness I 'pulled a sickie' and stayed home.

Woe to me, for when I returned to the classroom the work of the previous days was up in people's work areas. A beautiful young lady of comely aspect, depicted in all her glorious nakedness for all to see.

Oh cruel fate, why must you mock me?